Teenagers

I made two teenagers mad in one evening.

I suppose it’s not that shocking. I mean,

after all they’re teenagers. But I should be better at this by now. This isn’t my first rodeo with teens. This is my 2nd and 3rd time. I should be better…

All he heard me say was… “you’re dumb.”

I didn’t say this and he technically knows it. But it’s what he heard so it doesn’t even matter how I break it down.

For the record, I said , “What you did was dumb.”

But see… that’s precisely how heated conversations go swiftly off track. I was indeed upset when I made that declaration. Had I taken a moment to collect my thoughts more…well, thoughtfully; looking back I would’ve said instead, “Your actions were irresponsible.”

That statement is both true and non condescending.

You get more flies with honey. Hear me?

No, I wasn’t about to toss out syrupy seeet words during this exchange but the fact remains I would most likely have had a more captive audience had I chosen my words more wisely.

20 years.

I’ve been a mom for 2 whole decades.

I hate to be the bearer of not so pretty news... it doesn’t get easier. In some respect, yes of course.

However, these are independent humans we’re raising; complete with their own predispositions, thoughts, and feelings. If I am to reach them in a lasting and meaningful way. I… must change. I must take complete responsibility for my words, actions, and reactions. I must understand that if I demand respect, respect must also be given on certain levels.

Sometimes, I look back at old photos, like the one below and remember how I thought that season was so very stressful. And messy. And rather sleepless. And it was. But I am slowly realizing.. raising children never really stops. They'll always want or need me in some capacity and I'm GOING to have to change and be what they need from me and more importantly, what they deserve from me... who God has called me to be in this season of their lives.

These are hard times I am livin’ in as a mama!

But they’re also beautiful and beyond blessed. I refuse to stay stuck in my old ways and mindset and not adapt to whom my teens (& adult child 😭) needs from me.