But still… invite me.

I’ll probably say no, even though I want to go… but still invite me.

I crave the chatter, the vibes, and honestly the food probably entirely too much, but I’ll probably stay home despite it all.

I’m not unsociable, quite the contrary. In my mind I’m the life of the party… but I’ll most likely be here doing all the things.

I’m not sad about it.

I’m not resentful.

I’ve accepted it. It’s actually an insanely beautiful season of life and I know all too well how seasons are.

But please, invite me still.

Sometimes, I can get in my head and believe I’m not missed when I see the tags and the pics I’m not in. When I see heads thrown back in laughter and the hands around one another, no doubt sharing an inside joke… I feel a twinge of my insecure teenage self creeping in. Don’t get me started on how I feel when I see the food. Yall, I love the party food as much as a good friend.

But my daughter comes first.

My special needs daughter… comes first. And before her, her brother came first and in the middle of two chronically ill kids with a very rare disease, came two healthy kids that I fretted if I was getting absolutely anything right.

It’s true, I could hire a nurse but I hear they’re pretty expensive these days. Although, my daughter’s routine isn’t rocket science… we’ve got it pegged. If we’re late on anything her body revolts. It’s quite accustomed to meds and feeds at a certain time and we like to keep it all as normal as possible.

It’s my normal.

So while I thank you for the invite to play charades… I’ll have to decline. And when you invite me to a dinner sans kids… I’ll decline, yet again.

And I don’t want to completely.

Yet I completely will and my heart is 100 percent in this season.

But it doesn’t negate the fact… I want to be asked… still.

Thanks for being a true friend and seeing… ME.

I look forward to the next invitation, cheering you on in your season of life… and feeling… included.

But I will decline. 💜